Dementor invades the coming of May

Crazy how I think my emotions are in total jeopardy--laughing at a sudden thought, then crying the next. Initially felt like an escapee of mental or a woman on PMS (lol yeah). Yesterday was just a sample of it.

Yeah yeah, I could have just slept on my heavily bruised heart about issues that has long been planted, but I decided otherwise. Those were the times I could not handle, or yet, handle on my own. My mind does not suffice my own judgement and realization, that it felt like the need to burst into poisonous juice.

Desperate, probably, but desperate for comfort. 

I, of all people, does not like to show my weakness. I always want to show the best side of me. I don't just give in to negative emotions at the moment. But when the night usually enclose to midnight, that's where my Dementoring stats begin (like last night, at least). A lot of people say that it's okay to be weak, it's okay to reveal my negative emotions, because that's the perfect moment to feel all the emotions that you need to release after. But feeling it at the moment, does not appear in my emotions description. I am used to hiding it. 

To tell you the truth, weirdly, I enjoy listening to peoples rants and feelings. Somehow I feel so trusted and worthy of their thoughts, but when my turn has to come, I (sadly) lie and say that everything is going perfectly fine. 

But now that I have burst the bubble (to those people, who knows who they are), it just feels so light and, somehow, easy on the heart. My perspective changed to a whole new light. New realizations that I have not acquired came to me and gave me the hope to surpass the feeling I have so long kept. I just hope that this would continue on until... forever. 

Anyway, here's my first day at making my life worth the risk (one thing I have re-learned from the person I talked to last night)! I tried curling my hair with traditional curlers and mouse (not that big of a risk, but why not?), but I failed for the half of it. Crazy how my hair still wants to be straight after all the mouse that I placed, and clearly, hairspray isn't an option. Hairspray just feels so stiff and dandruff-y.


Tomorrow would probably resort to meet up with my high school friends. Damn, I'm so desperate to go out! Invite me guys, please, to any gigs or whatever. Yay! 

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