I thought we're talking about keys? LOL


I found myself touching my keys again; playing the same piece all over again. I guess this sums up my whole grade one education in... (what's the name of my music school again? I guess I didn't prioritize it that much) I never grew my love for music (piano), especially when all I care about was to play outside and gave the world a friendly "I don't really care what I look like and what you think of me" look.

Oh, we have those days when we all want to live carefree, problem-free and IDGAF attitude--mostly reminiscing on how our childhood has been spent. Probably the only thing that matters is the toys we've known. Unending question on how will we ever let our parents buy those long haired Barbie with a closet collection of clothes, that Doll House as big as the small tent you built and that Polly Pocket in that aquatic version? Yes, that's most of the things I wish I had and I wish I had let my parents buy for me when I was young. Truth be told, I still want those toys even if I'm at my twenTEEN. The problem with it, is that. I never did ask my parents to buy me those. Probably because I always hear my parents talk about how money is spent on toys that would eventually be left after some time (yes, sorta guilty here). But then, I never did try until I lost all the time that I had.

This may be the problem with me nowadays: I'm just so afraid to ask when I want something. Probably because the fear of comment or reaction from the opposite party gave me the fear of asking what I really want. I'm not saying that I want a doll house right now, but this is for what would let me want in the future. I think I lack the "I want this so badly" attitude that's why I tend to lose everything that I acquired.

Yeah, writing this does not solve anything... wait let me think of something that I want right now. Hmm.. I want to go out! This would not happen if I keep on saying it to myself, it won't happen if I don't ask my parents (still under their command -.-) their permission for me to go out, this won't happen if I don't act on it. That's why, I'm going to make it happen. Oh wait, I wrote it out again. Let me just erase that..........

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