Why would you let me stay here?

I keep on contemplating if I should apply for a job before actually leaving for my internship. I mean, my internship has not been totally approved, but I keep on giving myself the pat on the back saying, "let's stay positive". I know I did not really want it hugely at the first place, but now that it totally sank into me - my direction for goal goes out to my west. What I'm actually waiting for right now is the last ever process to approve if I am really going to land on this job. Okay, I'm not keeping anymore secrets. I actually was accepted to intern at Hyatt Regency Jacksonville, Florida; and I'm only waiting for my papers for my visa documents and interview. I really do pray that I could land it on my first try. I don't know the processing for it, but I know I would be able to study it as soon as I have the necessary documents. Meanwhile, as I was saying.  The contemplation has been about pursuing a job in a bookstore that we all book lover...

It turns out; our nonexistent garden still has the power to bloom.  Even in the most unexpected place, you see beauty. 

I'm starting to see a beginning of a new chapter in my life, unfolding after this coming week. My practicum's about to end, and my life would never be the same again. It puts me in an uncomfortable state knowing that my future will be at my own hands starting on.

“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all – look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love."   -  Zooey Deschanel I found this quote on one of the blogs that I follow, and I realized how open girls usually are. But as for me, I think I'm becoming less of it. In some way, I think I'm turning into a stone –a Stonehenge to be exact –big and lost in an indescribable world .  And with that, I'll depart for a week of soul searching in this Holy Week that's coming. I really hope to bring my spirits back...

One thing I always keep in mind when writing... as my professor says it: Type everything you have to say, typo or no typo, then edit right after.  I just wrote a heart felt letter moments ago and it absolutely felt right, because my mind cells are producing enough enzymes to produce rightful thoughts. I absolutely did what my professor had to say, I typed everything I wanted to say, and left the editing right after I poured everything in. It felt so good knowing I let it all out not minding if I have an error in my grammar, but when the actual editing comes in, there comes the errors right in front of me. Never ending as I see, but wishing it would just end like 1-2-3. I guess I have to send this now, but to who?

Name: Kristine Date: Saturday 24th 2011f September 2011 01:31:46 AM Colorgenics Number: 4/2/5/6/0/1/3/7/ You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go. You like the better things in life. You are sensuous and emotional. You are a follower of the Arts and you seek an environment that will give you the fulfilment to the senses that you need. Your involvements seldom measure up to your high emotional expectations and your 'needs' to be 'loved' and 'cared for' have in the past often led to extreme disappointment. But a change is in the wind - make a firm decision to start anew. Just 't...

It's been a while since I had an awesome time with people, by just having a wholesome talk with the perfect cup of milk tea with tapioca pearls. It's been God-knows-when since the last time I got to spend my afternoon with my dear friend, Jerlyn. The meet-up plan started when she posted a status update in twitter saying... I was in continual craving for any milk tea that I began to retweet her tweet. I do not know how it all started, (my mind does not permit to tell for the moment) but somewhere in our tweets, my other friend- Joanna (hi B!) asked us to meet up for tea all together. I was talking to a dear friend on the phone while this was all happening, so I did not quite catch up and get to reply quick. Just when I knew it, they were all planning on really meeting up after getting our course cards (I am a dean's lister, once again! Hooray! \:D/).  After countless times of texting each other where we were and what we were doing, finally, the meet-up plan push...

This is for those people who are extremely hooked to something, may it be an object, a vice, or even a loved one, and is determined to accept and finally let go. Here's to sobriety, strength and serenity. LETTING GO (A contributing thought from the 12 Steps of Alcoholic Anonymous) To "let go" does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else. To "let go" is not to cut myself off. It's the realization that I can't control another. To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another. It's to make the most of myself. To "let go" is not to take care of, but to care about. To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive. To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To "let go" is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others t...